Wide Awake.

I recently celebrated my twenty fifth birthday and have reached a point in my life where I’m becoming the woman that I’ve always wanted to be. An acceptance of self that I never thought I would come to peace with. The awareness I started to have the more natural things in my life unfolded when I stopped trying be perfect. ( Recovering perfectionist over here.) The more I let go of the the way things should be and how I should be…the layers all started to drift away and in return I started making different choices and choosing myself. I’ve been feeling like everything is finally coming full circle and I need to let myself enjoy that because I’ve been resistant to feeling all the good, and getting caught in these stories of waiting for the shoe to drop or guilt that I feel in a good place when it has always been a choice and a commitment to never give up on myself. Last year I was laying in my bed questioning my existence and today I’m grateful for it. For so long I thought I just had to reach a certain level of self improvement, healing, etc and then I would be happy but this is a never ending journey. Constantly reaching for validation and approval but giving grace for knowing what I knew then was survival and a lesson that I’ve always been enough even when my mind told me I wasn’t. These last two years have been life altering for our whole world but it’s taught me so much about myself and our common humanity. Living through kindness and empathy has been a guiding light when life just doesn’t makes sense sometimes. When I was in the darkest depths struggling with OCD, anxiety and the pandemic I felt like I had nothing left to give…but kindness and empathy is something we can always fall back on. My mind and heart felt called to share that so thanks for sticking around!

LIFE UPDATE! I’m also starting my first semester at the University of St. Thomas this August back in Houston, TX and I feel ready to start this next chapter of my life and live for myself not my anxiety and OCD. A moment and experience that felt so out of reach was something that became possible once I believed that it was.